Got restraints? 

No?  You may be the only one left who doesn't.

For the record, I consider myself to be an enlightened kind of girl.  I grew up in the city and the suburbs and for the most part don't consider myself to have led a sheltered life.  I spend a considerable amount of time on the internet and feel comfortable saying that my breadth of knowledge is fairly vast, if not always comprehensive.  In other words, I know a little bit about a lot of things.

That said, the acronym BDSM was not something that came across my path very often until about a year and a half ago.  Now it seems I'm practically tripping over it ever where I go.  (Where have YOU been hanging out Abstract_Truth?  Yeah I know...I called your question from way over here in cyberville!)  Surprisingly enough, I haven't been going out of my way to find it.

Now for the sake of full disclosure I will admit that the majority of my exposure (heh) stems from reading and reviewing romance and erotica novels, but as ubiquitous as the "tie me up, tie my down" scenes have become in Romancelandia..it certainly isn't limited to it.  From The Dirty Show to local conventions, this once hidden culture is suddenly everywhere. 

As for me, I think anyone who really knows me knows that I'm no prude, and although I don't advertise it I have a pretty high tolerence for viewing things that rank high on the erotic scale. Even so, I have to admit my eyebrows went to my hairline when I was directed to the Canadian Mini-Cooper ad sporting the "Mini Cooper Dominates Winter" tagline.  Check it out:

www.mini.ca/DominateWinter/ 

Uh huh...have fun clicking through that one.  (Side note: Smartbitchestrashybooks.com had a funny thread going where commenters debated whether the chick is a real dominatrix or just plays one on a website.)

Now I'll admit, I got a good chuckle clicking away and spanking the car (::snort::) and it was a good way to kill a few minutes.  I also felt as though it was probably all in good fun and likely to be viewed (mostly) by folks who have reached the age of majority.  However, I was not amused when I went to look up a word on dictionary.com during Nanowrimo and was treated to a prominent ad (and ass) banner outfitted in poured on leather.  (Whip included to complete the look).  How's this for a site that gets your attention:

www.fittingroup.com/

And I know that dictionary.com subscribes to clickad.net (or some such advertising sponsor) and they have no control over what pops up randomly, but damn it's getting damn hard to control the content coming at the kiddies these days when it's not even safe to look up a word anymore.

But honestly, this post wasn't intended to be a rant about racy ads and evil sex demons trying to take over the world.  I just think it's interesting how far left the pendulum has come crashing in the wake of the conservative clusterfuck (haa haa) of the past few years.  One does have to pause and wonder, what next?

Don't be surprised if within a year you turn on the TV and see Tyra or Oprah sitting with wide-eyed fascination while Mistress X gives instructions on how to give a proper spanking to a rapt audience of eager house-wives.

Just saying...
 

...at least it isn't for boy puppies.

When Puppy's Play, It's Ladies First

"During puppy play, young males sometimes put themselves in a position where they can be taken advantage of by their female playmates. The early behavior could serve them well later in life, say researchers."
 

Daaaaamn...male subs in doggydom.  Who'da thunk it?  (And why does that statement crack me up no end?)

As cute as this story is, it just goes to show that boys...even boy dogs, are always thinking with their peters...

And seriously...the professor's last name is SMUTS??

Really?

Shit, with a last name like that...I suppose her career options were a bit limited.

::snicker::

• As I stated above, this novel stayed true to its concept from start to finish.  No jarring modern language slipped in.  No slip ups with technology.  Wonderful.
• Rue was pretty saucy and I liked that.  She was a model girl in a time when that sort of notion just did not exist.  Girlfriend frequently went out disguised as a man and was totally comfortable with it.  Awesome.
• I like the idea of an Alpha male AND and Alpha female.  It sounds nice and balanced (even though the male is truly the boss...but whatever.)
• Kit was a hero, but not always a likable one and I like that.  He was almost an anti-hero with his deceptiveness and ulterior motives...sometimes I honestly wondered if I really liked him...but I did.
• The shapeshifting gifts were surprising and different.  There was nothing silly or campy about it which helped me "stay in the story."
• Cat fight!  It was short, but satisfying even as told through hearsay.
• Not once did Kit holler "MINE!" in this entire novel.  (Say WHAT?)  Can it even be classified as a romance novel without that being somewhere in there?  Oh...wait...he does declare "She is mine" to a room full of men secretly lusting after her...I guess that kinda counts...plus "Taken" makes an appearance.

• Rue is described as being a "halfling" but we never find out what the other "half" is.  I hate it when books end without answering all the questions or at least promising answers in a future installment.
• Kit was a self centered snob at the beginning of the book, and I have no indication that he isn't still a snob by the end of the book.
• This book had overtly sexist notions throughout, but hey it was set in the 18th Century... and if you read romance with alpha men, that's pretty much what you sign up for, no?
• That said, Christoff did have this slightly corny speech about "being the man he always wanted to be."  A little too heavy on the sugar if you ask me, but I stomached it because he was an ass quite a few times.
• This book dragged in a couple of places which stretched my reading out a day longer than it should have.  Obviously it wasn't a deal breaker because I did finish it...I just hate it when that happens.
• Even though this book features some new twists on the old dragon-tale, it wasn't completely without a least few romance novel cliches...ya gotta love the whole "some other guy has touched you so now I have to have sex with you RIGHT NOW to remind you, and me,  that you're MINE!!!" moments.  Honestly how can that NOT make a girl go weak in the knees?  /sarcasm

• I now know I can read a historical romance and not get bored.  This is something no one will care about but me.
• I find it interesting that after 4 decades of non-Turning females, Rue was the only one blessed with the gift.  I wonder if this is do to "inbreeding" issues or if the "why" comes out in subsequent books.
  Similarly, it was interesting how the clan was described as being mostly fair skinned with light features (hair particularly).  Rue was a rare "dark beauty" with dark hair and dark eyes even though her skin was "moon pale."  :-/  Yeah...I'm not going to even bother to climb up on my soapbox about that one...I'll just say after praising something for being original, I have to take back cool points for this typical "exotic" nonsense.
• Rape or seduction.  At one point, Kit boldly communicates that he will take it either way which may turn off some readers.  Personally I didn't have problem with it because it was crystal clear that although he may have been taking something that had not been officially offered to him...Rue was right there with him in the moment so I'm good with saying that in this case consent was "implied" and from what I could tell a good time was had all around.
• Pages it took for me to "get into" the book: 60 (out of 324pp. in the MM paperback edition,)
   

Title:  Shadow Game (Ghost Walkers, Book 1)
Author:  Christine Feehan
Genre:  Paranormal Romance (Romantic Suspense/Telepathic)

Synopsis:

A classified military experiment goes terribly wrong when the volunteers start to die under questionable circumstances.  An elite special ops unit (The Ghost Walkers) undergoes a series of treatments designed to enhance psychic abilities making them extremely valuable as military weapons.  Held captive in underground cells, the men soon come to realize that they are prisoners as well as study subjects.  When the program creator is murdered, the men suspect foul play...and Captain Ryland Miller has a feeling he will be next.

Dr. Lily Whitney is the brilliant daughter of the program's creator.  Also gifted with psychic abilities, she knows that Captain Miller's suspicions are more than justified.  After telepathically experiencing her father's murder, Lily feels obligated to honor her father's dying wish for her to "make it right."  Her father's murderer would do anything to get his hands on her father's research.  Lily must find a way to locate it before the murderer does, but Lily also discovers that her father's research may reveal things about her that she'd rather not know.

As a fan of paranormal stories, this series is a nice break from the vampires, shapeshifters, and wizards...(OH MY!)  I like the way it kind of felt like I was reading a thriller like "Patriot Games" with liberal amounts of sexual healing mixed in.  To be sure, much of romance is cheeze whiz, but when the author tries to have an actual *story* in there, the experience is that much more gratifying.  This one fit the bill for me. 

The Good:
 

• The Ghost Walkers are a decent multicultural mix of heros and for me where there is generally little to no POC in this genre, a little bit goes a long way.
• Feehan did a beautiful job of not making the reader wait too long for the hero and heroine to fall into each other, but it was still within the confines of what we call "romance" as opposed to "erotica" where there are no emotional/romantic connections established prior to the "getting busy" part.  I like the slow burn pace of this novel and the effect was rather enjoyable and rewarding.
• The bathroom scene.  Good Lord.  Captain Ryland's got mad game.
• Captain Ryland Miller can cook...and he's a great dancer.  (Clearly this should be classified as a "fantasy" novel!!)
• Lily has the same body issues as most women which helped me warm up to her sometimes stiff personality.
• Captain Ryland Miller is a dreamwalker, meaning just like another beloved romance novel hero, he can get at you in a dream.  ::thud::  The pisces in me is screaming with delight at this ability.  There is NOTHING more erotic than that.

• I have read the complaints that claim this author tends to fall into fits of purple prose from time to time.  Though her writing at times was a little on the "flowery" side, I didn't find it to be distracting or annoying.
• There were a couple of passages where the dialogue and descriptions got a tad repetitious which tends to make me a little panicky especially when I'm enjoying the story.  I start to worry that she's run out of good ideas and there is nowhere to go but down.  I hope that's not the case.  
• Brilliant and grown ass Dr. Lily reading books to learn about sex?   Faaaaailure!!!
• The promotional trailer for this book is nothing short of a large stinking pile of yagottabefukkinkiddinme!  I'm not gonna hold that against the book, but please do yourself a favor.  If you feel you must check it out on Feehan's website, read the book first.  I swear I would have run so far away from this book had I viewed that thing first.  It totally killed the sexy that was going on in my head.

• The Ghost Walkers are a nice twist on the whole "Band of Brothers" sort of story.  A military team trained to blend into shadows while armed with telepathic abilities and the power of persuasion...you can do a lot with that... and you'll never see them coming.  (pun somewhat intented)
• While reading this novel, I noticed shades of some of the other paranormal romances I've read recently.  Noting that this book was originally published back in 2003, I wonder if some authors borrowed from this series or is it just only so many ways you can spin this stuff and duplication is bound to occur?
• I really loved the telepathic communication between the hero and heroine in this novel.  The dreamy soul in me just gobbled up that whole "reaching out through the distance to share the pain" aspect of the story.  This book found my soft spot and exploited it.  I ain't mad about it though.
• Although it worked for this novel, I'm kinda getting over the cold, intelligent, non emotional, virginal, sexually frosty female shero, just laying in wait for superlover to come along and melt the ice away.  
• Feehan writes very nice erotic scenes.  Yep.  That's all I have to say about that.

Given the depths of which I really enjoyed this book, I am actually surprised I don't have more to say about it.  It's one of those paranormal romances that doesn't necessarily come off as all that "paranormally" if that makes any sense.  These men aren't otherworldly...just exceptional...and I kinda like that.  It gives me hope that I might someday find my own Captain Miller.

It could happen, right? 

Overall Rating:  A

Song Dedication:  "At Last" - Etta James

Quote:  "Am I tempting you, Lily?" 

• The author does a pretty good job of conveying the nature of the existing relationship between Clint and Morganna.  A sufficient amount of back story is supplied allowing the reader to confidently move forward in the story without feeling totally lost for having not read the novella that starts this series.
• This book at the very least attempts to have a real suspense-filled plot with some twists and turns thrown in.  Does it succeed?  Well, no not really.  But it does try and that's gotta be worth something.  
• In the case of Clint, we learn a lot about this character and what makes him tick.  This is always a bonus because it allows the reader to really get inside the hero's head and figure out what motivates his actions.  It's just too bad we didn't get as much insight on the heroine.
• Alpha male.  Clint.  He is one.  To each his or her own, but for me that's a good thing.
• Morganna was kinda kick-ass.  Finally, a female who stands up to the male character and refuses to back down.  As a heroine, Morganna has more spunk than most, but still not as much as I'd like to see.

• Clint is a Dom.  I could buy that.  What I couldn't believe is that he could afford a private room at a D/s club that runs him a cool $45K/year!  I mean srsly, how much do Navy SEALs make?  Would you want a guy that blew that much of his salary on a rented room?  Nope.  Don't think so.
• Too much repetition particularly in the dialogue and the sex scenes.  This novel quickly started to read like it was crafted from a "paint by numbers" kit.  So many parts felt recycled to the point where I had trouble remembering my spot in the book.   The same things kept happening where only the locale would change which left Clint looking like a one-note.  He had one move.  (Pin her hands over her head in case you were wondering.)  *Yawn*  Wake me up when he takes her out for ice cream.  Now THAT would have been SHOCKING!!
• While on the lam from the bad guys, Clint and Morganna check into a hotel...and he decides to use "Mr. Sizemore" as an alias!!  Bwaaahaahaahaahahhaaaa!  Really? No. REALLY???!  Modest much?  ::throws shoe at book::
• Morganna cries like a billion times in this book.  Why do the so called tough women have to cry so much in these books?
• I know this is supposed to be borderline erotica, but what really got to me was Clint trying to sex Morganna into a submissive role...over and over and over again.  It never really worked, and it got old really fast.
• The big climax/showdown at the end of the book?  Yeah, uh it was over before I could utter "What'd I miss?"

• What is up with these BDSM books and the main female character named Morgan(na)?
• What is up with these BDSM books and the main male character being in the military?
• The author seems to make some passing commentary correlating BDSM preferences with physical abuse as a child.  I don't claim to be an expert on this topic, but I think it's kind of interesting to write a book where the BDSM lifestyle is highlighted as the thing that makes the central couple hot to death, yet kinda sorta brands it as deviant behavior.   Like I said, interesting...
• There were a lot of characters introduced in this book.  I got confused a couple of times.
• At one point in the book, Clint comes to the conclusion that the only way to keep Morganna safe and happy is to keep her knocked up and barefoot.  Wow, way to set women back a million years Romeo!  Yeesh.
• The leather pants.  Good.  God.  Who do I have to pay to get these authors to stop putting these men in leather pants??

The Verdict:

I liked this book, but didn't love it.  It was good, but not great.  I do have a sneaky suspicious that this series does indeed get better as it progresses.  At five books in, the readers seem to support this assertion.  That said, I will read the remaining books in the series because I'm just that anal about finishing what I start...and like I said, it wasn't a bad read...typos, ARMY/NAVY confusion aside.  

Overall Rating:  B-

Song Dedication:  "More Than A Woman" - Bee Gees  

Clint the Dom would never approve of a disco tune, but the lyrics are spot on:

Oh, girl I've known you very well
I've seen you growing everyday
I never really looked before
but now you take my breath away.
Suddenly you're in my life
part of everything I do
you got me working day and night
just trying to keep a hold on you.

Here in your arms I found my paradise
my only chance for happiness
and if I lose you now I think I would die.

Oh say you'll always be my baby
we can make it shine, we can take forever
just a minute at a time.

Yep.  That pretty much sums up the whole relationship.

Quote:  "It won't fit."

(Srsly.  I'm STILL laughing at that one!)

• He's smart.  Hella smart.  He speaks 16 languages fluently.  He has at least a couple of degrees, is a tech geek, a Boston Red Sox fan, and drives the Black Escalade.
• He is the only one who can heal Butch after Butch does his "Hoover business" on the lessers.
• He and Butch are roommates and live together in "The Pit."
• He likes the Grey Goose.
• He sports a goatee...Rhage does not approve.
• His visions have ceased and he is suffering extreme depression.
• He has suicidal tendencies.
• He's into BDSM and only does it that way.  He keeps a separate penthouse apartment for his "sessions."
• Vishous and Butch are tight.  Really tight.  Like pantyhose two sizes too small tight...and we are left to wonder "what's up with that?"
• He *may or may not* be gay/bisexual.
• He *may or may not* be in love with Butch.

( Yay!! Bacon and Chocolate!! )

( Booo! Baby Powder! )

( Running Commentary )

For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dreams come true

Image Source

...to live inside this story if I'm lucky.


Image Source

Title:  Lover Eternal (Black Dagger Brotherhood, Book 2)
Author:  J.R. Ward
Genre:  Paranormal Romance (Vampire)

Okay, so here's the deal, back in December I made this post about the first book in this series.  These are the tales of a band of vampire warriors bred to defend their race against the Lessening Society (slayers for the uninitiated).  Never expecting to actually like the series beyond one book, I think it is fair to say my review was appropriately snarky at turns, but overall I think it was obvious that I really did enjoy the book.  I just wasn't prepared to hand over my book snob card just yet.

Needless to say I have officially passed the snob card through the shredder...twice...and pulvarized it for good measure.  At 5 books in, I know I am way late discovering the BDB, but this series has knocked me on my ass and I couldn't be happier.  Alpha male?  Yes, please and thank you!  Let's face it, these books won't win any Pulitzers, nor are they meant to, but they certainly take me to places I want to go again and again.  These vampires are deadly, sexy, and addictive...and Rhage is the most beautiful one of all.
    
Synopsis:  There is nothing understated about Rhage.  He's the best fighter, the most impulsive, the most attractive, an insatiable lover.  When Rhage's lack of self control and disregard of others results in the death of an innocent bird, he is cursed with a raging beast for 200 years...an inner dragon capable of laying waste to anyone in its path making him lethal to friend and foe alike. 

Mary Luce is taking things one day at a time.  As a cancer survivor she has learned to be sensible about life.  She lost her faith long ago and when it appears as though the cancer is back, Mary starts to brace herself for the inevitable.  When circumstances force Mary to rely on Rhage for protection, she refuses to acknowledge the feelings that are stirring in her heart.  How dare she dream when there is so little time left?

Like most other novels of this genre, there is no time wasted in getting to the pursuit of love and lust.  Rhage is attracted to Mary and pulls out all the stops to make sure she knows it.  Mary clearly feels as though she is dating above her station, and therefore spends much of her time practically waiting for someone to jump out and tell her she's been "Punk'd."  An average looking woman has no business believing this unbelievably hot male has a thing for her.  His nickname is "Hollywood" for Chrissakes!  Certainly he's toying with her, but ohhhhhh the things he does...

And then there's the issue of her failing health and his need to keep his curse at bay by consistently engaging in physical exertion....of one kind or another.   Oh, and there's also the part where she's not supposed to know anything about his species or The Brotherhood for that matter.  Tricky, tricky sitch...
 
 

The Good:  

 

( Cheers! )

( Jeers! )

( Highlight Reel )

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Title:  Dark Lover (Black Dagger Brotherhood, Book 1)
Author:  J.R. Ward
Genre:  Paranormal Romance (Vampire)

So now that I've decided to fully submit to my obsession with paranormal stories, I dove into this book not quite knowing what to expect.  20 pages into the book, I was cracking my knuckles and greedily preparing for the snarkfest that was going to ensue should I actually be able to get through all 400 pages of this book.  Bad dialogue.  Bad descriptions.  Big Bad Everything.  It was sooooo ripe for a righteous rip up.  It took days for me to feel any type of compulsion to read it, but still I keep it on me at all times...just in case.  And then the most curious thing happened, the damn thing got good around page 63 or so!

For all intents and purposes, this is a classic Beauty and the Beast story with some mild violence and chick porn erotic interludes sprinkled in for good measure.  

Synopsis: Dark Lover starts off as the tale of a deadly turf war between vampires and vampire slayers. Of the vampires, there exists the Black Dagger Brotherhood which have been designated to the task of defending of their race.  Wrath (yes Lord, that's his name) is the leader of the warriors and the reluctant King of the Vampires.  Darius, one of the most trusted fighters gets killed, in doing so he orphans a half-breed daughter who is unaware of her vampire lineage.  Before he was killed, Darius' last request was for Wrath to assist his daughter with her transition.  Beth (aka the half breed) is busily going about her uneventful life when strange things start to happen...in her town, as well as to her physical being.

In J. R. Ward's universe, vampires are super-agressive muscleheads with a penchant for livin' the thug life.  Her vampires roll in tricked out SUVs, bump rap music, stay "strapped" and are always ready to battle.  They are arrogant and crude.  I guess her point is that we women secretly like them that way??  Not to stereotype, but I find that interesting coming from a Boston legal eagle/medical administrator of the caucasian persuasion...but whatever.  It's her literary world.  Other standard vampire restrictions apply, so no going out in the daytime, but garlic is a go and they spend quite a bit of time checking themselves out in mirrors.

I'm not going to recap this book because I'd imagine that most of you don't really care.  I'll just break it down to some things that I thought were comment-worthy.

What was hot:

• "Her core bloomed for him."  W.T.H???  M'kayyyy...never quite heard it described that way.
   
• Other than his regal mane of dark hair, his body was smooth and hairless..even "down there." Why do we need to know this??!!
   
• "Man, he was so cold.  Cold down to his marrow.  And she was hot.  Hot enough to make that ice go away.."
  
• Wrath is almost 100% blind, but he can SMELL how fine Beth is.  Yep.  That's what I said.
   
• During sex, male vampires mark their mates with their scent and it serves as a warning to other males.  Talk about putting some stank on ya!
   
• The female vampire's fertility period = 2 days of nonstop sex and the male comes out of it FUBAR for a good long while.  Niiiiiiiiiiiice.
   
• Did I mention the leather?

After all that, I have to say that I liked this book because of it's usage of the fantastical, the mob-like setting, and of course the naughty bits.  I couldn't have cared less about the subplots, but I can't honestly say that I didn't find it entertaining.  It was definintely worth the $4.99 that I paid for it. 

Overall rating: B+

Quote:  See title of this post.
Song Dedication:  Since I've finished the book, I can't stop singing "Your Love Is King."  If this book ever gets made into a movie of some sort, that song sooo needs to be on the soundtrack.  

It's just too perfect.

I swear,

If I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to SCREAM!!!

I need a vacation in the worst way. I don't care where. I just need to GO.

Can you imagine feeling so down, that you can't even imagine a time in the future when laughter can be free-flowing? I felt like that for much of last week and the weight of that feeling has left me weary. This is no way to start the holiday season. Two and half weeks to my mini vacation, and quite frankly...the time can not pass by soon enough.