Kid: "What are you reading?"
Me: "Great Feuds in History. Do you know what a "feud" is?"
Kid: "No."
Me: "A "feud" is a major fight that typically lasts over a long period of time."
Kid: "Oh. Who are those ladies on the cover?"
Me: "That's Queen Elizabeth I and that's Mary Queen of Scots. They were half sisters, but they couldn't stand each other."
Kid: "How come?"
Me: "Lots of reasons, but mainly because Mary liked to keep a bunch of mess going. Queen Elizabeth put up with her for a long time, but eventually she ordered her folks to chop Mary's head off because..."
::Kid cuts me off and pretends to wield a sword::
Kid: "BECAUSE THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!"
*ded*
- Location:kitchen
- Mood:
amused
"You Are My Sonia"
ETA: Okay, so somehow the entire bottom half of my post just disappeared. Dunno wassup with that, but piss on LJ for depriving the world of my genius! :-/
- Mood: pleased
- Music:"Walk Away from Love" - David Ruffin
Yesterday, the kid and I were talking about the movie "Transformers." He smugly tells me that he's the supercool yellow Chevy Camaro that goes by the name of "Bumblebee." He then goes on to assign the PT Cruiser as my Transformer alter-ego. A "PURPLE" PT Cruiser he later adds ('cause that's a little cooler.)
I assured him that if I were a transformer/vehicle, I would certainly NOT be a PT Cruiser - purple or otherwise. After rejecting his second assignment of the Mack Truck known as "Optimus Prime" he huffed and then asked "Well what car WOULD you be??!"
That's when the road faded to black and my imagination took over:
If I were a Transformer, I'd be a metallic black 2008 BMW M6. All black leather interior and a custom sound system. I'd have illegal dark tinted windows and sport suspension. With low-profile tires and a menacing grille, I'd sneer at you in your rear-view mirror. A panther on the road, you'd see those clear corners encasing xenon lights bearing down on you from behind and you'll instinctively know to move out of the way as if I willed it so...'cause you'll know that there's a very good chance of there being a jerk behind the wheel who won't think twice about running you off the road. I've got important Transformer business to take care of, and no time for pleasantries or driver courtesy.
I'm sleek. I'm a predator. I'm German engineering. I own the road. My name is "Midnight."
Gradually, the world returned and I found myself back behind the wheel of my Ford Fusion.
::silence::
Kid: ::shaking his head::
Kid: "Mom?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Kid: "You're crazy."
Me: "Whatever."
- Mood: crazy
I'm riding in the car with the kid and this conversation commences:
Kid: "Mommy, what's "booty?"
Me: "What?!"
Kid: "Mr. Krab on SpongeBob is always talking about his booty,"
Me: "Oh, he means "pirate's booty." He means his loot. You know, his money, treasures, jewels and whatnot."
Kid: "Oh."
::silence for about 30 seconds::
Me: "So, you think you wanna be a pirate?"
Kid: "No, I wanna be a baseball player. I'll bet they get LOTS OF BOOTY!"
Me: ::ded:: ::holding back wracking laughter as tears stream down my face::
Me: "Indeed they do, Honey....indeed they do."
Priceless.
*******************
Speaking of booty, I can't stand Sara Silverman, but can my love for Matt Damon climb any higher? I don't think it can.
That's.Just.Awesome. And Jimmy looked salted like hell. LMAO!
Matt D-A-M-O-N!!!
- Mood: amused
::phone rings::
Me: "Hello?"
Mom: "Do I have a big mouth?"
Me: ...
Mom: "I mean do I always let the cat out of the bag?"
Me: "Uhh....yeah."
Mom: "Awww, man!"
Long story short, office gossip came back to bite her in the backside. That's one of the dangers of working with your spouse. That and the fact that neither one of you seem to be able to keep your mouths shut around your office cohorts. It really sux when tension is already running high as a result of job insecurity.
Poor Mom. She just can't help herself. But in her defense, she didn't act alone.
So for all you big mouths this jam's for you! Something else you can run and go tell your crew!
- Mood: slightly amused
- Music:"Big Mouth" - Whodini
Me: ::blank stare::
APIMO: "...but it looks GOOD on you!"
Me: "Uh huh"
APIMO: "So call me so we can go out to lunch, okay?"
Me: ::gives fake smile::
Seriously people, for real?
IT'S JUST MY HAIR. IT'S NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT.
Last year I made the conscious decision to stop chemically straightening my hair. I thought about it for a long time and I decided that I was fed up with the upkeep, ready for a change, and really concerned about the long term affects of altering the natural state of my hair.
I now wear my hair in it's natural state. Sometimes twisted. Sometimes in a curly crown on my head, usually pulled back with a headband. I like it (which is what matters most.) I love my hair, and so do most people.
So the fact that I let my hair do what it does (groomed well of course) translates to me somehow sending a message to the world that I am not to be fucked with? For reals? You got all that from my hair?
I could see if it was spiked, or shaved into a mohawk, or going every which way but neat.
And...just...
::sigh::
Forget it. It doesn't even matter.
I've no time for this ignorance.
So...cheers!
(me and
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
valkyrias on nye)- Mood: indifferent
- Music:"I Am Not My Hair" - India Arie
