For many reasons, last holiday season should have been tough on me, but it wasn't really.  This year was a beast.  The dread started in October and has not let up since.  Anyone who has been paying the slightest attention to some of my recents posts can bear witness to it.

I survived Christmas, but a close family member did not.  The closest I had to a grandfather on my mom's side passed away Christmas morning.

So yeah.

I'm still emotionally limping along.  Trying to get to January 1.  Hoping for a reprieve.

Just...yeah.

Note for the sake of making a note: It sucks to have a sixth sense or subconscious barometer or whatever and have no idea how to read or wield it...not that it would matter in this case.  ::sigh::